that's it.

dear readers...i sit before you, a sweaty, pissed off cyclist. i am trying, i am trying to lessen my carbon footprint. i am trying, i am trying to get off my lazy ass and exercise. (how un-American of me.) i am trying to be one less car on the road.

i just did a run to the bank to put my weekend's wages in. a simple 20 minute bike ride--short because of the hot weather. i wear a helmet and i wear bright clothing. i'm not a diminutive person--i am visible. And even though I'm riding a bicycle--i'm on the street. I stop at stop signs and lights. I act like a car when I'm on the street. I signal with my arms, left and right. I let people know what the f*** i am doing so they don't have to guess.

this all happens in a matter of seconds.....so, i'm riding up the street and there's a car behind me at the stop sign. I have to make a left at the next driveway to get where I'm going. i move into the middle of the lane, signaling to indicate what i'm doing, that i'm going left. I signal that i'm going left and i can hear the guy behind me trying to pass me....on the left where i am trying to go. i wave that i'm trying to go left and yell "i'm trying to turn left up here!" he pulls up next to me to yell something, while cutting off my turn, so i have to swerve to avoid getting hit by his huge Ford Explorer. He continues to yell things at me that i can't understand in his weird Neandethal language and I'm confused by the dumb look on his face (a permanent expression, i'm sure.) Well, my Mediterranean side comes out and I yell, again "I'm trying to turn left, you asshole!" and he continues yelling at me, as if it's my fault that he had to be behind me and possibly slow down for 5 freaking seconds to let me make a turn. I finally yell one final thing, something along the lines "f*** off, you limp dick asshole!" nice and ladylike. i'm sure my mother is proud.

anyway. the bike ride home took away most of the fury, and I'll admit it, hurt that these types of incidents cause in me. i'm trying to do something simple. but i decided something. that's it. SUV drivers are cut off. typically in these situations it is SUV drivers who are not paying attention and i don't know if it's the car of if it's them. are you a jerk before you buy an SUV or does driving an SUV make you jerk? I'm pretty sure it's the former and the latter just seals the deal. so, that's it. i don't want to associate with SUV drivers that have them in the city. if you drive an SUV in the city, we have nothing in common--what could we possibly talk about? I don't think you possess the intelligence that i would require for conversation or friendship. (full disclosure: my sister drives one and so does my bassist--although his is a hybrid. does that make it better? not sure yet. maybe he's a thoughtful SUV driver? is that an oxymoron? i am trying to get them to change cars....but we'll see what happens.) anyway, i didn't get this dude's license plate number. i would like to have called in a hit and run, but would good would that do except give him my address and waste the police's valuable time?