anne lamott and a tree grows in manhattan

i've been on a media/news fast. it's been great, but it has kept me from being on-line for very long. and although my inbox is lower of number and people actually get responses now in less than a year, it means i've been neglecting my dear, old faithful blog. always there, always waiting for my mindless musings.

i went to NYC (see picture--there's a tree-house arts exhibit in Union Square) this weekend to watch my friend Danielle interview Madeliene Peyroux. I'd heard of Peyroux before, but never heard her music or seen her play. It was good and she's a very good guitar player. Normally an interpreter of other's songs, she played several of her own that she's written this past year and there were 2 that i liked especially. One was a wandering Dylan-esque lullaby called "I Will Be Saved" (i think.) It was a nice evening. Danielle does her interviews at Rockwood Hall and although past ones have been with performers of equal caliber, they don't have Peyroux' int'l exposure and acclaim. Peyroux' label, Rounder Records had representation there, as well as a video crew and we all got treated by them to dinner and wine after the show (a nice treat for this musician, who went to NYC with $20 to spend on food for the 24 hour period i was there.) I played the part of hanger-on and it was super fun. No pressure, just clinking glasses and good food, quietly observing people who have some stuff going on and some money to spend and a lot to say as they get slowly, slightly inebriated and say even more. I loved it and I took mental notes.

Danielle loaned me an Anne Lamott book for the bus ride home yesterday. I love the Megabus! I will only ride this one now. They have a double decker and I sat on the top level, right at the front window and the thrill of feeling like you need to duck going under every overpass--cool. Also, although i got through about 100 pages, it was nice to read a little, look up at the rushing road below me and feel that i was riding down the highway, in style, in an enclosed cherry picker. I listened to The Magnetic Fields and Marley Carroll and took down some notes that were floating around in my head. Anne Lamott told me to stop trying to be such a perfectionist and DO IT ALREADY, so i'm posting what i wrote, even though it's not edited and some of it is good and some of it is not. here we go:

1. i like to leave NY.

it's as though i'm leaving Church

with a smirk,

knowing that i will

most definitely

sin again

and that i'll return next month

to surrender my full confession.

2. i like that you can hear Glenn Gould

breathing notes

when he played piano.

i am listening to him labor over Bach

and the most beautiful part

are these little whispers.

he is telling my what is about to be.

he is leading me with his mouth and lungs,

not his fingers

to this note and then the next and then the next.

he is calmy explaining each sentence

and i am grateful to hear it.

3. i like the double decker bus.

if you sit on the top level

you can look down on other people,

and you don't even have to be a

fucking pretentious asshole.

4. why is my mother's handwriting so neat and pretty?

her phone voice, on messages, is the same way.

i think she's hiding something and it makes

me feel suspicious.

5. before we cross the bridge in NJ,

or is it Delaware?

there is a flashing sign that says

the bridge speed limit is 50mph

and that if i am in crisis

here is the number to call.

the main columns of the middle of

the bridge are lit up and look like

the should be in a Batman movie

scene.

we are crossing the bridge at the high point

and the girl next to me is

nodding in her sleep.

i look over at her reflection in

the window and see police cars

and flashing lights on the Northbound side.

i hope they are not searching

the black water below

for someone who was in crisis

and missed the sign with the phone number.

6. the girl next to me on the bus

is fully asleep

and i can see her reflection

and she has the open-mouthed

thing going.

it looks like she is singing a

long, long note.

i laugh to myself. she is lucky.

if i sleep this way in public places

the part of my mind that controls

embarassment

wakes me up to shut my mouth

and stop looking so stupid.